Career or No Career

We had quite a blow last week as Andrew went to work on Monday. UOP has had rumors of possible layoffs and they were told to ignore the gossip. Turns out that it was right and our family has been affected by it. Andrew was laid off on Monday. They didn't allow him to even pack up his things :( When he called me I thought he was kidding. Who lays people off a month before Christmas? I got my answer.

Through Facebook we were able to hear about a job doing telemarketing. Andrew can be quite the salesman so he went and interviewed with my friend's husband. He started working there on Monday. The job is not a career job but it is going to get us by for a little while. There is great potential with the company and we feel good about it. I however, have never been known for my patience so this will be a giant test for me :) I too am looking for a job and hope to find something soon.

During the Christmas season it is hard to put our troubles behind us and focus on the spirit of Christmas. Tonight I am grateful for friends who care enough about us to make sure we are ok. Whether it be through facebook, phone calls or brining us Ice Cream late at night and listening to us whine. I love you for your kindness and I especially love you for loving my family! You know who you are and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Challenge

Our ward has challenged us to focus on things that we are thankful for. I realized today that I have really been focused on the negative and today, right now I am changing my attitude! I am bigger than this. I am stronger than this! I am a happy, outgoing, loving, fun and friendly person! No one and no thing can change who I am! It is good enough! I am good enough!

I have great friends who love me exactly how I am. I have a family that loves me unconditionally. Times are hard and just because they are hard doesn't mean that these things don't matter. They matter more than ever, really. I love these people who care about me always. Most importantly I have a Father in Heaven who LOVES me! I MATTER to Him! I am a mother to his precious children and I think I do a pretty good job. I am thankful He has trusted me with these sweet spirits. They are the most precious thing to me and I am BLESSED to be their mother.

Sometimes we just need a kick in the pants to get on the right path. Thanks for the sore bum :)

GRADUATION!

Andrew graduated yesterday! I must admit, I was NOT excited to take four kids to go sit and wait to hear Andrew's name called out with 1,300 other students. I will now admit I wouldn't have missed it for the world. I was teary eyed when I saw him walk into the room in his cap and gown. I am not an emotional person and so this was new to me :) He looked so happy! This has been a long time coming. When they called out his name I cheered. I cried. And I managed to get an excellent photo that one day I will retrieve off of my Mom's camera. Lol. It was really difficult to keep the kids entertained but thankfully my mom went with me to help keep them contained.

What a special treat for our children to see this amazing accomplishment in their dad's life. Our lives will forever be better because of his sacrifices. He does so much to provide and take care of our family and I will be forever grateful to have him in my life. Andrew is an amazing father and husband. I feel blessed every day...well almost every day ;) to have him in my life. He takes care of us and loves us for who we are.

After graduation we had a family luncheon and then a party to help us celebrate right! It was so much fun. We were lucky to have our friend Ryan come and set us up with some karaoke! We had a blast. Even the kids got in on it! It was so cute to watch this adorable little people sing and dance and have the time of their lives. On the way home Wyatt said. Mom, thanks for the best day of my whole life! :) Melts my heart!

I feel incredibly blessed with some amazing friends that will come and support all that we do. Thank you for coming to show your support for Andrew and his Brother Chris who got his Masters Degree. It was so much fun having them graduate together! I really loved having all the old friends come and all of our newest friends there too. It was a special night that I hope to always remember :)

Girls Weekend

This past weekend I spent with some of my favorite girls. I learned a lot of things...Some of which I cannot and will not share :) First I remembered something huge. I am a woman. I am fun and I have needs. I loved being able to just be me for a while. I knew the kids were doing great. Andrew is a great dad and he is very capeable of taking care of the kids for a weekend alone. Second, I learned that women need good women in their lives. I am so blessed to have these beautiful women around me. Autumn is spirited and fun. She makes me happy to be around. Brittany is adorable and gently keeps me in line. (She too cracks me up!) Jess is a little more reserved...until this weekend. Turns out that girl knows how to play! And finally there is Hiedi. She was so much fun to get to know. I know she will tell me how it is even if I don't want to hear it :) What a blessing it was to get to spend 3 whole days with these incredible women. I had the time of my life and can't wait to go again!

Climbing out of a Hole

Lately I have felt like I wanted to crawl in a hole. My life has been turned upside down. I feel like I am going insane and turns out, I am! I have a problem. I am sick and I need help. I have tried to deal with this all on my own. I finally saw a Dr. who gave me some meds to help and it seems to take the edge off. I have finally turned to Andrew and we have talked about everything that goes through my brain. It is nice to have someone who understands exactly what I am going through. It helps that I have some amazing friends who are willing to listen to me whine and moan on an almost daily basis. This seems to really help. I just wish I could be my normal happy self again. I miss her she was delightful :)

Hmmmm

A lot of people have been asking about what is wrong with me. I realized that I have not come out and said that I suffer from extreme depression. I usually wouldn't post this on a blog or anywhere where i will have to actually face what is happening to me, but I felt it important to spread the message.

I am usually a very happy, loud, and boisterous person. Since my last baby I have suffered from depression. I LOVE him and I LOVE to have him around. It is nothing like that at all. He continually saves my life. It is good knowing that someone needs me and is completely dependent on me. He is a joy and all of the kids are my world.

I feel sometimes like I don't do enough. Like I will never be enough and that is when things get very dark for me. I sometimes feel like they would be better off without me. I however, realize that this is an irrational thought. I can usually talk myself into calming down and seeing the bigger picture. I am seeing a doctor for this problem and I am being medicated. I think i have finally found the right fit for me and barring any crazy mishaps I should be ok.

I really just want people to be aware of people around them and how they are feeling. When I am overwhelmed it is probably not the best time to confront me with things from the past. I can usually handle most things but lately I am just not myself. I promise I will be back....I just can't tell you when :)

Overwhelmed!

Some days I feel like life is perfect. I have a fantastic husband who is my equal in every way. Actually he is better but who's counting? I have four beautiful healthy children and we have jobs. What could be wrong?

Other days I feel like my world is crashing down on me and I am suffocating. I don't know what to do with myself and then I see this beautiful helpless baby who needs me. He needs me so that he can exist and be happy. How do I do this when I can barely get myself out of bed? There are times when I feel like a complete screwup and that I offend everyone around me. I wish that these days would be rare but lately they are coming more and more often. I feel helpless. I feel worthless and I feel hopeless. It is times like these when it is necessary to rely on the Lord and ask him for His guidance. I do the best that I can. I know this is depressing and I don't mean to put it on those that read my blog. However few that may be. I just needed to write it down and express how I feel.

I feel like my feelings don't matter. Everyone else wants to be heard. When is it my turn? Everyone else gets to feel. When is it my turn. Everyone else gets to be happy. WHEN is it my turn??? I am drowning here :(

Surgery

I had Ablation surgery today and let me just say...I hope to never have to do that again!
The surgery itself was a bree ze. Afterall, I was asleep ;) However, when the anesthesiologist and his nurses worked on me is another story. The nurse put in an iv into my hand and missed. She had to take it out after having me hold the iv tube while she looked for tape. Then they put it in my other hand and had a little trouble with that one. When I went back into the surgical room the anesthesiologist tripped on my iv tube and almost ripped it out of my hand....Needless to say, I was not very pleased. Dr. Jarem was fantastic as always and did a great job, I think :)

I feel like a truck has run over me a few times and I am completely exhausted but I'll live.

Happenings

A lot of things have been happening in our house. First, and most importantly is Chase is MOBILE! I cannot believe my baby is crawling! He truly gets on his knees too. He is so cute crawling around into everything. His favorite is that he found the toy boxes. He thinks it is so hilarious to dump them all out. He can also pull up on anything. I wake up in the morning and he is standing in his bed. When I open my eyes he jumps and says "HEY!" It makes my morning.

The other thing that is happening is that I will be having surgery on Tuesday. It is an outpatient surgery to try to help my anemia. I have to get iron IV's every single week. When I was pregnant they didn't hurt but they sure hurt now. I couldn't feel my fingers for a few hours. It was really strange. I am having ablation surgery to try to stop myself from menstrating. I am praying that this will work because I would LOVE to have some energy again. I have just been so tired. Cole is always worrying about me trying to help me take naps.

So, that is pretty much it. Any prayers would be welcomed. I am really scared to have this surgery done. I have a hard time getting numb and I have nightmares that I will be able to feel everything. I know this is crazy talk but I am worried.

School!

I can't believe I haven't posted about school yet! I have been so excited about it. I mean, the kids, the kids have been so excited about it. Cole is in 3rd Grade. His teacher is Miss Watkins. Kiley is in 2nd Grade and she has Mr. MacLay. She could not be more excited to have him :) Wyatt is in Preschool. He got into the First things First program at Taft Elementary. He goes Monday to Thursday for three hours a day. His teacher is Mrs. Jennings. He LOVES her! She can do no wrong.

On the first day of school, Cole and Kiley didn't want me to walk them to their classes because they are big enough! They let me take their picture and ran away from me. :) Wyatt's first day was hilarious. I wanted to take his picture at his desk and he said to me "get your picture and go!" He cracked me up. I took my picture and asked him for a kiss when he replied "MOM! People will SEE!" Everyone started laughing so hard. He gave me a quick kiss and I left. No tears, no protesting. Wyatt didn't cry either :)

It is going to be a great year!

New Endeavors

In order to help my family I have started selling a product that I love and will have fun selling. I am now working for Jewels by Park Lane. I love jewlery. I love people. What could be a better fit? I have already done my first show and it was a great success! I love being able to sit and look at shiny objects with other women ;) If anyone reading this is interested in ordering or in hosting a show, let me know. I would love to come.

Porter Family Reunion

We just got back from our family reunion. We had so much fun! We go to Greer every other year and stay in cabins. This year we got to stay in a cabin with my sister Julie and her family. We take turns making the food. And we alternate days being in charge of the activities for the day. We chose to teach all the 30 grandkids, (minus Spencer who was at boot camp for the Air Force Academy) balloon animals. They had so much fun. My nephew Aaron picked it up really quickly and can make a mean dog.

It was really fun and at times exciting. For instance, the time when Cole fell into a patch of Stinging Nettle and was screaming at the top of his lungs that he was burning to death. When Andrew tried to wash it he yelled "Call the Police" I had to laugh because he wanted to call the police because his dad was washing him! Priceless. Cole was old enough this time to pretty much run around and not need our supervision at all times. He also went on a 6 mile hike and made it to the top. Andrew on the other hand, did not. He made it in a mile and turned around. He had bought new boots the day before and they were NOT broken in. Cole was so proud that he was able to make it. At the top, Uncle Dave gave him some M&M's and Cole said "Uncle Dave, you're a keeper!" I guess we like M&M's.

Kiley had so much fun running around with all the little girls. She is always surrounded by boys so this was a treat for her. She loved having girls to play with and talk to. With her breathing problems she didn't get to go on the hike but she stayed back and helped with all the babies.

Wyatt LOVED going to the reunion! He never went inside unless it was dark. He Loved playing with Jeffery and Joseph who are five but he thinks he is five so it didn't matter :)

Chase didn't like the reunion as much. On our way to Greer he popped out his first two teeth and had a fever. When we got there he was allergic to something and broke out into a huge rash. He loves being home and being able to sit and watch the other kids.

I had a lot of fun playing rook with my brothers and dad and other games with my sister and sister in laws. We missed my sister Shellee who wasn't able to go because of a difficult pregnancy.

We are home and happy and can't wait to see everyone again. Maybe we'll take a roadtrip.....

Patience is a virtue!

Cole is 8 years old. Kiley is 7 years old. Wyatt will be four in three weeks. I as a parent have felt very guilty over the fact that my children seem to be afraid of water. Coles baptism was eventful to say the least because he was so afraid of the water.

HOWEVER, on Monday we went swimming with our good friends the Shumways and what do you know? Our kids decided the water wasn't so bad! By the end of the day Kiley could swim a couple of feet. Really as long as she could hold her breath. Cole made huge progress by bobbing all the way under the water and by the end was sitting on the floor of the pool completely submerged. WOW!

Today I took them swimming again and on the way to the pool I had a talk with Cole. I asked him to trust me and trust that I wouldn't let him drown. He told me he could trust me so he would do whatever I asked. By the end of todays swimming adventure, he can swim a few feet too! I am one proud mama! The best part is that he is proud of himself!

They can't wait to go again but alas too much of a good thing is too much for me :) Kiley is so burnt that she has blisters on her nose. I promise that I put sunscreen on her. It is crazy how burnt we all are so we are going to take a few days off.

I am so glad that we were able to get over our fears and go into the water. Cole has a real desire to swim well so we will start again after our family reunion in Greer.

Squeaks Marie

Today is Kiley's 7th Birthday. She is an amazing girl. Such a good helper. I love her gorgeous smile and her contagious laugh. Because she is seven here are seven things great about Kiley.

1. She ALWAYS has something to say.
2. She is very entertaining. She loves to perform and tell jokes. (even when they aren't funny)
3. She LOVES being a big sister! Sometimes I think she thinks she is the mom.
4. She has the greatest dimples that makes me want to grab her cheeks.
5. She has a way of letting me know when I should have explained something to her and didn't
(for example: WHAT??? My report card grades are from TESTS? I always ignore tests!)
6. She thinks the fireworks are in her honor every single year!
7. She is my one and only baby girl and she is the GREATEST!

Random Acts of Kindness

I want to thank someone (you know who you are) for the amazing gift package on our doorstep tonight. I am amazed at your generosity and thoughtfulness. I was truly suprised and overwhelmed with a sense of love. You are a wonderful person and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. It was truly amazing and the kids are so giddy about getting their own basket of goodies. Thank you!

Life

Sometimes life gets you down. Lately I feel like I am alone and that everything I know to be true is wrong. When did my perception get so totally warped? I am now questioning everything. The two things I will never question is that My family loves me and The Church is True! I am so glad to have these things as constants. It is hard to not know what you are feeling or if it is even valid but as long as I stay true to the gospel and keep praying I know everything will turn out okay.

Oh What Do You Do In the Summertime...

It is summer vacation and what have I got planned? Nothing! I am broke and have no idea how to entertain my kids. I have them doing puzzles and their school packets and I even bought them a little pool for the backyard (on a great sale) so now what? I feel so bad for them. All the other kids are taking swimming lessons...we can't. I feel like I am keeping my kids from doing a lot of the things they want and should do. I am excited to go to our family reunion but what til then? If only....

Friends

I have gone through quite a eye opening week. Things that I thought were true aren't and vice versa. It is important to know who your friends are and more importantly to be a good friend to others. I hope that I am a good friend to those I love and I resolve to do better.

I have a real desire to have true friendships around me and to surround myself and my family with those that have a positive effect on those around me. To these people I thank you and I love you. I hope to be better about being there for them.

I love my family. Andrew is amazing. He is my rock and my very best friend. I feel incredibly blessed to have him in my life. I love my children. They make me laugh, smile and sometimes cry. I love them so much. I hope to be a better example to them and I hope that they too will build lasting friendships because they are priceless.

Motherhood

I have been pretty down lately but one thing has never changed. My LOVE for my family. I have amazing children that can make me smile no matter what! They are amazing.

Cole is a fantastic helper. He helps me with the other kids, he always takes out the trash and he loves to do dishes! He is very competitive which works to my advantage. All I have to say is lets see if you can do this faster. He is always happy to do anything to make someone happy.

Kiley is a bundle of happiness. She loves to show her dimples and her favorite thing to do is smile. She is a brave little girl. She just had her teeth pulled on Wednesday and she was so good. I was amazed how brave she was while the whole thing was going on. I was a bigger wreck than her.

Wyatt is my little buddy. Every morning he comes in my room to give me a kiss. He then immediately asks if we can go see grandpa! If I say no then he yells at me "Mom! You broke your promise!" I don't know what promises I have been making but apparently I broke it. His new thing is if you ask if you can have a bite of whatever he has he will cough all over it and then say "oops, you can't have any cause I coughed one every single one!" This cracks me up every time. His biggest accomplishment this week is that he was determined to ride a two wheeled bike because he is "hoomongous!" So he got on Kileys BIG bike and after Andrew straightened the wheel he rode it down the street. FIRST try! I don't know why I was suprised but I was. He can't even peddle the whole wheel around he just catches the other peddal. Crazy kid.

Chase is a fabulous baby. I LOVE his smiley face. You can actually hear him smile :) He is such a good baby and makes our home that much brighter. He hasn't been here that long but I can't remember life without him.

I am one lucky mom and when I feel down I just have to look at my kids and remember that I have it pretty good! I love them with all my heart. Andrew is a wonderful father and husband and I am blessed to have him in my life.

Who?

Do you ever feel obsolete? I do. I feel like nothing I do is good enough. The things that I need are on the back burner and forgotten. I know as a mother that these things happen but it seems a bit too much right now. I forgot what it is like to be a person. To laugh and to enjoy myself. Yes, I find joy in motherhood. But who am I? I wish I could remember. And what if who I was isn't good enough? I guess I am lost.

What a crazy Day!

This morning I was mopping the floor and suddenly I felt so strongly that something was horribly wrong! I freaked out. Dad had had a little surgery this morning so of course I called him immediately. He was fine. Groggy but fine. Mom wasn't home so I called her. Fine. So then I called Andrew. You guessed it... he was fine. My sister Shellee is pregnant and it isn't an easy pregnancy so I called her. Fine. Then I started texting. I called Andrew's mom. Fine. I texted almost everyone I could think of. Of course it was the last person I called because why would I call anyone else?

I had a friend having a really hard day. This economy is BAD! I had a sister who probably needed to talk and turns out Kiley was in the Nurse's office right as my feeling came. The good thing that came out of this. I talked to almost everyone I knew today. I am glad that everyone is okay. I hope that we can keep the people affected by this economy in our prayers and in our hearts.

Now I need a nap. All this worrying has exhausted me!

Amazing

Yesterday we went to Andrew's sister's house for a birthday/Easter celebration. It was her son's 4th birthday so we had birthday cupcakes and an easter egg hunt. While we were visiting the kids went out back to play and throw the football around. Uncle Jeff went out to play with all the kids. Jeff threw the ball to Wyatt and was suprised when he caught it so Jeff moved back and threw it a little harder and Wyatt caught it again. After a few more time of them throwing and catching Jeff came in amazed that Wyatt could catch the ball so well. A few minutes later Wyatt came in and said "mom Jeff can really throw the ball!" I laughed so hard at his amazement at Jeff's ability to throw a ball was just as amazed as Jeff with Wyatt catching the ball. Truly funny.

He LIVES!

Last night we took the kids to the Easter Pageant with our wonderful friends the Jones' family. When we were waiting for it to start I was convinced that the kids would be so hyper that we wouldn't be able to get them to sit still during the performance. When Cole was three years old I had an amazing experience when Cole yelled at the "bad guys" to "Leave MY Jesus ALONE!" at the end of that performance when Jesus is resurrected Cole yelled "YAY! HE made it!"

Now Wyatt is three years old so I thought I would have a spiritual experience with him too. Hahaha nope! He asked during the whole performance if Jesus was dead yet. He really didn't like it when they beat him. Wyatt said "Jesus just needs to come sit next to me! I would be nice to him." That was priceless. He loved the Angels. In the end he was so excited to see Jesus back to life (as he says it) and then to top it off he yells "Jesus can FLY like SUPERMAN!??" Looks like we need to have a little talk :)

Tender Moments

So...lately I have been feeling very down. I feel like I am a terrible mother who just yells at the kids and that I can't keep up with the house. Generally I feel worthless. Last night I walked into the sweetest moment.

Cole and Wyatt were snuggled up together on the couch an Cole was reading to Wyatt. The book was about airplanes and Wyatt kept asking Cole questions. All of a sudden I hear Wyatt say to Cole "you are the best big bruver. You know EVERYTHING!" It was so cute! In this very moment I felt so blessed to be these incredible boys mother.

Drew's Balloons

We have started a new company. Andrew has learned how to twist balloons. He is pretty good at it too. If you are having a birthday party or any kind of special event that you would like to have a fun treat for the kids call Andrew! Drew's Balloons 480-518-7477

The Big Date!

We decided this year to Celebrate our 10th Anniversary and my birthday together. We were lucky enough to have Grandma and Grandpa babysit the whole day for us while we spent an entire day together.

I picked up Andrew from work and we went to a barbeque place for lunch called Haps BBQ. The sandwich was awesome! The sides not so much. After that we went to Castles and Coasters. It was so much fun! I had no idea that when Andrew is scared or what he calls "excited" he giggles. Uncontrollable giggles. I was laughing so hard. We went on the big dragon swing and sat on the end. That is when the giggles began. After that we went on the big Desert Storm roller coaster. Andrew again giggled the whole time. I must say I am usually very quiet when I am scared but even I screamed a few times.

After that we stopped at Andrew's work to check his car because we left it there and nobody else was there except the security guards. I thought it would be fun to leave a few notes for some of the girls Andrew works with. It was fun to be sneaky :)

That night we ate the most fantastic dinner. We went to The Melting Pot. It was AWESOME! We spent two whole hours eating. At first they bring out a cheese fondue. I must say not my fave. I am not a really big cheese eater. Then we had salad. That was amazing! I don't really know what they did but it was so good! Then they brought out a tray full of raw meat. Gross right? It was so delicious. I loved it. After we cooked it anyway ;) Then the best came last. Two words...Chocolate Fondue! It was amazing. I dreamed about it that night. It was way too expensive and we will probably never go back but what a night! Everyone should go at least once in their life!

Best of all was getting to spend time with my very BEST friend, My love, My Eternal Companion Andrew. I love him more every day and thank th Lord for bringing him into my life.

Anniversary Suprises!

What a day! I got up and got the kids ready for school. Then I got home and was getting ready to do laundry when a knock at the door came. I thought it was a delivery from my shoe party so when I opened the door and saw Andrew standing there with Tulips I was very suprised. I grabbed him and hugged him for a long time. Then I asked when he needed to be back to work. He laughed and said he had the day off. He had been driving around for two hours so he could suprise me. Such a sweetie. I called my mom and she said she would babysit so we could have some time together. What a good gramma!

Andrew took me to breakfast and then we went to the mall and he had a necklace made for me. It is a heart and engraved on it it says "Sometimes..." and on the back it says Feb 25, 2010. He got a money clip with the same sayings engraved on it. The biggest suprise for me was when he told me that he was having our wedding video put on DVD. I cried for joy because I love our wedding video and we have watched it so many times that the tape broke. Andrew took it to a specialist who can repair it and we can have it forever. What a special man I married! He is always trying to make me happy and I love him for that.

10 Years Already?

Ten years ago today I married my very best friend. Andrew is the first person I share my accomplishments with and my struggles. He gives me support in everything I do and everything I want to do. I love him more than I ever thought I could. He gave me four beautiful children and a loving home to raise them in. He is an amazing provider and the rock of our family.
Here is our story:
As children Andrew lived across the street from my Aunt Sallie। When I would go babysit her kids she would tell me about her cute neighborboy. I would just laugh and hide when he came around. My Aunt and Uncle really seemed to be impressed by him but I was not ready. Seriously I was 12. In high school my friends would set up these group dates. Andrew's group at Gilbert High would bring the boys and we had all the girls. I was informed that I was getting set up with a wrestler named Andrew. I stood him up at the last minute. I was just too scared to go. He went with my cousin instead. He would have had more fun with me ;) Needless to say... we didn't meet until much later. After his mission I was dating his friend and when my friend Val and I went to cook my boyfriend breakfast we met Andrew. I must say when we left I told Val that I was going to get to know Andrew better for sure. During the 9 months with my boyfriend Andrew and I became very good friends. We would go to breakfast and talk about the ups and downs of the relationships we were having with other people. After a few months we decided it was dumb to be seeing other people so we broke up with them and the next day we had our first date. It was amazing. We didn't really do anything special but it was right. We both knew it. I knew he was a player growing up so we dated other people at first and it was a lot of fun. BUT I knew we would be together forever. We dated for 2 1/2 months and then we got engaged. We were married 2 months later for time and Eternity in the Mesa, Arizona temple. I love this man with all of my heart and can't imagine my life without him. Love ya BABE!

Full Heart

Today my heart is full. I have an amazing husband who does everything for his family. He made sure that even though he had work and school this weekend that it was special for me. He got me some gorgeous roses and some candies and a hilarious card. The card has a frumpy old man in his underwear on the front that says "Sometimes I don't know how you have the patience to put up with me." and on the inside it reads "But I'm guessing it's on account of my awesome sexiness." He cracks me up. He wrote a wonderful message that I truly appreciated. He made sure that I felt loved and cared for. How did I get so lucky?

I also have some amazing children. Cole is a special soul. He is VERY sensitive somtimes that drives me crazy but he is very loving and caring. He always is trying to make someone happy. He was such a good helper this weekend. He helped with Chase and played with Wyatt so that we could all have peace in our home. Kiley is our little angel. She is CONSTANTLY talking. This also drives me crazy most times. But she also is such a happy loving girl that would do anything for anyone. She is the little princess that I always wanted. Wyatt is our little whirlwind. He is so active. He is constantly doing something sports related. On Friday we went to Cole's class party and they played Hockey and Wyatt ran right in and played with all of the "Big Boys." They loved him. It was really fun to see. Chase is our little miracle. I don't know how I would live without his smile. It just lights up a room. I love this sweet little boy so much that I am amazed that I was chosen to be his mother. I truly am a lucky woman, to have such a wonderful family full of love and a lot of laughter.

Emergency Room

So on Tuesday, Chase started getting really fussy. I realize that babies get fussy so I didn't think anything about it. As the day went on I noticed that he was getting a runny nose. I thought it might have been from fussing. So at about 6 o'clock that night we realized he had a fever. I called our afterhours and they said if he gets a fever over 100.5 degrees we needed to go to the ER. We took his temp and it was 100.7 so I called Grandpa Porter. Grandma and Grandpa came over to give Chase a blessing. It was a very powerful blessing and it made me feel better. We thought that maybe he had an ear infection so we left the kids with G & G and went to urgent care. When we were seen they sent us to the childrens hospital. :( boo! We got there at 9 o'clock and didn't see a doctor until 4 o'clock in the morning. We didn't want to sit in the waiting room full of germs so we sat in the lobby of the hospital and held our baby close trying to keep the germs away. At 5 o'clock they told us that Chase didn't have RSV...yet. We are on high alert watching him and praying he doesn't get it. He seems to be getting better so I think it will be okay. I just felt so bad for G & G Porter. They were up all night and so were we. I finally told them to go to sleep and we would call them with any news. The next day they slept and then they came and got Wyatt from us so that we could sleep. What a night. I am just glad that he is going to be okay.

Blessing Day

Yesterday we blessed our beautiful baby boy Chase. It was a wonderful day filled with family and friends. Wyatt kept asking why it took all those men to hold Chase. :) It was pretty cute. After the blessing Cole said he needed to go home. He wasn't feeling well. Andrew told him to go to the couch in the foyer until the meeting was over. A few minutes later Cole came in and mouthed something to Andrew who interpreted it as "I threw up." He really said "I am ready" Andrew jumped up from the chair and hurried out. When they got home Cole took a two hour nap and woke up feeling a little better. I had to teach primary that week so I had Chase and Wyatt wouldn't sit with his class so he was sitting with me too. What a crazy time. Andrew came back while Cole was asleep to pick up Chase. A few minutes later Wyatt started yelling "I am starving!" My friend Autumn looked over and said she would take him home to Andrew. What a lifesaver. I taught my class of 5 year olds and then hoped Andrew would come back for me and Kiley. He did and I was pooped! What an experience. My little class is so cute and fun but boy can they talk! Here's to a calmer next week.

Good Friends

I am feeling especially grateful for good friends today. I have had a rough time lately and spending time with good people really helps. On Friday I spent the day with my Besty, Becca Jones. She is wonderful at listening to me and being able to relate to what is going on with me. We spent hours just talking and laughing. I love to be around her and her family. Our children get along so well that it makes it perfect. It also helps that our husbands are also besty's :) Last night was very scary for me. I was at Walmart and felt one of my "seizure" episodes coming on. They aren't like epileptic seizures but more internal. They can be small or big. This one was HUGE! I felt it coming so I hurried to pay for my groceries and with all four kids by myself I rushed to the car before it hit. I got in the drivers seat just as it hit. Cole is an amazing kid. While I could feel the world around me spinning, he made sure the kids were okay and then he got my cell phone and called Andrew who was at home doing homework. Andrew said to stay in the car and he was on his way. I was passed out at this point so Cole took care of the kids. I am lucky and a little sad that my kids are prepared for just such situations but it is comforting knowing they can handle it. My little man is growing up. Andrew rushed over and took us home. He called Ryan who came over to take Andrew back to get his car. What would we do without Ryan and Becca? They are the best friends a couple can have. Thanks guys you are wonderful!

Cutie

Sunday Wyatt was assigned to give the Scripture in Primary. All week long he would ask what the scripture was, so I would say it to him. We got to church and he was all excited to do it in the microphone :) When it was his turn before he walked up to the microphone he looks back at me and said "I got this!" He walked up and grabbed the microphone and you could barely see him over the podium and he proudly says "We belief in God the Eternal Fadder and in His Son, Jesus Christ, his son and in the Holy Ghost" He was so proud of himself. I must say so was I. What a cutie!

Going Crazy

I am having a really hard time lately. I don't know what is going on but I am going completely crazy. I feel like nobody listens to me and that I am going to explode. I am hoping this is just my hormones going crazy and not my brain. I don't know how to fix this problem. I feel completely alone and it is hard. I know these things will make me stronger blah blah blah. I'm just having a day. Forgive me.

Life With a Baby

Chase is a wonderful baby! I just can't believe that he is here. He is already such a joy to have around. I was nervous about Wyatt's reaction to him but Wyatt tells him that he is Chase's biggest fan! I love it. He is always trying to help me with comforting Chase and feeding Chase. It is so adorable. I have loved having time with Wyatt and Chase while Cole and Kiley are at school. I am however very TIRED! This baby loves to eat. And he loves to eat every 2 HOURS!!! It is hard to get any sleep around here. He is just lucky that he is so darn cute :) I know that I should be savoring this moment because it will soon be gone, and I am trying to but come on now. Lets just have a few more hours :) I love holding and watching him. He makes the funniest faces and noises. He cracks me up. I am truly grateful for the chance to be his mom.