Christmas

Christmas time is here again and I find myself worrying again about how to provide an adequate Christmas for my family. I'm not talking about presents. We know there won't be much of that going on and that is ok. I am talking about the feeling of the season. I try my best to make sure my kids understand why we celebrate this season. It isn't Santa, it isn't presents, it is about love for our fellow men. And the love of our Savior for us. I am blessed with some very special spirits in my home who are unfortunately and fortunately wise beyond their years. They don't go crazy asking for things. They just want to make decorations and go caroling. They make me happy.

As times are tough I wish I could do more for them. I wish I could give them more. More time. More understanding. More of my heart. I find myself down. Our lives are in upheaval. We are doing the very best that we can but is it enough? Andrew amazes me. He is working nonstop. He never complains. He sacrifices his entire week for us. He only sees us on weekends and he is happy. He is my rock and my forever. I am thankful that he struggles with me and loves me and I am so incredibly thankful that we continually strive, together, to make our lives better. It has been hard. It has been rough but we are together and that is all that matters.

So... enough whining. I am starting fresh and going to do all I can to make this Holiday season as special as I possibly can. Going to concerts at the Temple, playing games as a family, and visiting friends and family. Onward and upward from here! Merry Christmas!

(This is Andrew and our kids and our friends Ethan and Noah at the temple. We had so much fun getting a start on this Christmas season.)

Thankful Heart

In the spirit of Thanksgiving I have been thinking about all of the wonderful blessings I am thankful for and I need to write them down so I can come back and remember later.

1. I am EXTREMELY thankful for the atonement. Where would any of us be without it? What an incredible blessing we have to be forgiven of our sins and made whole again.

2. I am thankful for the chance I have to serve in the church. I love being on Relief Society committee and getting to love the sisters in our ward. I feel more connected with them that way. I also love leading the music in relief society. But I am especially thankful for being able to be the Wolf Den leader. I love these crazy, hyper, smart, and sensitive boys who make me smile just thinking about them.

3. I am thankful for visiting teachers. I am so blessed to have some amazing women come visit me and love me. Flaws and all.

4. I am thankful to be a visiting teacher. I love going to visit my friends and hearing about their month. They are amazing and wonderful examples of motherhood and I love them dearly.

5. I am thankful to have the Gospel in my life. I will never take it for granted ever again. I will strive to feel the Spirit every single day of my life.

6. I am SO THANKFUL for amazing children. My life would be so boring and meaningless without them. Cole is so loving and kind. Kiley is a mini me. That scares me sometimes and I strive to teach her to be better than I ever was. She makes me happy. Wyatt is so sincere. He loves everyone and wants everyone to feel important. He is destined for greatness. Chase is wise beyond his 3 years. He is so funny and I love to hear his stories. What a blessing it is to be a mother!

7. I am so thankful for Andrew. I am so lucky to be able to stay home with our kids. I am babysitting at home to help with our finances but Andrew has a full time job and a part time night job. He is willing to sacrifice time home to better our family and he amazes me everyday with a happy attitude and a love for the Gospel. Words cannot express how much I love him and I am thankful for all we have gone through so that we can be at this point. Truly in love with each other and the Gospel. We make quite the team. I am lucky to be his co-captain. He inspires me.

8. I am thankful for a family who supports each other even from long distance. I love my brothers and sisters and I am so thankful for their love.

Not just in November but all year I have been keenly aware this year of how "lucky" but really blessed my little family has been the past few years. We are strong. We are dedicated and we are HAPPY! I am thankful for this knowledge and I am thankful to be aware of it. After all, sometimes that is half the battle :)

Happiness Is...

I was reading my blog from last year and remembered that last year when I got depressed I decorated for Christmas early. Well, another year has passed. I am again feeling overwhelmed and drowning and yet again have already decorated for Christmas. I LOVE it! It makes me happy to sit and stare at the pretty lights. I wish I could keep it up all year long but alas, all good things must come to an end. As we were putting up the tree Chase was running around singing "It's my Birthday! Happy Birthday!" He makes me happy. He is so smart he realizes that his birthday is around Christmas. So, of course being the crazy mom I am sing happy birthday to him every time we walk in the room. He loves it and I love how happy it makes him. Maybe we will keep the tree up.....

Cole's 11th Birthday

On this day 11 years ago my life was changed forever. I became a mom. This pregnancy was Perfect! I had zero complications and I was so so so excited to have my first baby. When we went to the hospital I was all set to go except my water wouldn't break (never has) so they put me on pitosin and we were on our way. My mom and dad went with us to the hospital and we were there for hours. Finally they told Andrew he should go home and take a shower and get his medicine. As soon as he got home Cole decided he was ready! We called Andrew and he rushed back. We only lived 4 miles from the hospital but it was rush hour. I was all set to push, Andrew was still coming and my mom was in the corner saying "don't push! The blanket isn't ready!" Hahaha she was tying him a baby blanket and wasn't quite finished. The doctor looked at us like we are all crazy! (we are)  Finally Andrew showed up and the doctor wanted my dad to feel included so he told dad to count for my pushes. He started counting 1.................................2.............................3........................... I was laughing so hard at this point that Cole was not pushed out... he was laughed out. And so his story begins :)

Here are 11 wonderful things about Cole:

1. Cole has been a joy from the very start! He was such a smart baby! He was talking at 9 months and he was ready to conquer the world. At 18 months he could tell you all his shapes and colors. He truly amazed us all.

2. Cole has one of the most giving hearts. He always wants everyone to be happy. (He has his moments of crazy but hey, he is a kid)

3. Cole loves the gospel. He loves to go to church and loves loves loves scouts!

4. Cole loves being tall! He is almost as tall as I am. He is in a man's size 8 1/2 shoe and couldn't be more pleased about it.

5. Cole has the greatest dimples. I love to see his smile.

6. Cole loves to be a big brother. He loves to take care of Chase and "show him the ropes"

7. Cole loves that he is old enough to do a lot more things around the house. He loves to mow and edge the lawn. (he does NOT love pulling weeds)

8. Cole is so so helpful! He does a great job doing dishes and especially laundry. He loves to suprise me with doing these helpful chores.

9. Cole loves being in Orchestra. He has this amazing ability to play the violin. He loves it and I love that he found what he loves to do.

10. Cole LOVES sports! He loves to play basketball especially but loves kickball and football too. He has a great throw and plays baseball too.

11. Cole loves to be silly! What a strange thing. I love to be silly with him. We drive down the road singing at the top of our lungs in different accents and he thinks that is the most hilarious thing ever!

Cole has always been a special person. He amazes me everyday with his kind heart and willingness to help out. He would do anything for anyone. When his best friend moved from the State he HAD to go help the family move. He is so sad that he is gone but how thankful we are that he had such a great friend. Cole loves people and they love him. Where would I be without him. I am so thankful that he came to our family. HE is incredible and I am blessed because of him.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COLE!!!

Determination

This kid absolutely amazes me! He is so brave and he is Determined to not let anything slow him down. Two years ago he tried to climb a smaller rock wall and couldn't get his balance because it was crazy windy. This year he was determined to make it to the top. While we were waiting in line one of the dads kept saying "you aren't really going to make him do this are you? He is way too small! He will never make it!"  Wyatt has never liked hearing people tell him he is small. He definitely doesn't like being told he can't do something!  I love this boy. He inspires me to not be afraid. He inspires me to know that if I put my mind to something nothing is impossible! I am so proud of him and all he has accomplished. He felt like the king of the world and I totally agree.

I know it sounds cheesy but this can be compared to the atonement. If we are determined to not let the nay sayers get to us and we do our very best, with our eye on our goal we can make it! Is it hard? ABSOLUTELY! Is it worth it? ABSOLUTELY! I feel revived. And I am ready to conquer the world with my beautiful family by my side.