Life is Fragile

The little boy in Kiley's class passed away on Sunday :( Kiley was devastated! This little boy was so loved and such a fun little guy. He was a little stinker on field day. He kept yelling "Kiley's mom, look over there!" and then I would pretend to look and he would sneak on our obstacle course. He was such a cutie. She had a really hard time. She spent time with the School Counselor and her biggest question was Why would God take someone so young? Such a big question. Many people I am sure are asking the same question. I told her that his mission here was complete. Now he gets to go live with Heavenly Father! He is not in any pain and he is completely happy. She begged to go to the funeral. I debated but in the end...we went. I could not be happier that we went. Turns out I went to EAC with his Dad. The funeral was so sweet and the Spirit there was SO strong! Kiley came home and sat with Andrew and quietly said. You know dad, Ethan is going to be fine. He is being taken care of and he is happy! She said she felt the Spirit and it felt like peace. What a special moment for us to share. I am glad that I was able to leave Chase and Wyatt with my parents so that Kiley and I could share this moment together. What an amazing sweet tender spirit she is. I am so blessed to be her mommy.

Teaching Opportunities

Kiley got in the car yesterday and seemed upset. When I asked her why she was sad she handed me a letter. During school the class was told that one of their classmates had died. She was so sad! Of course she was! Death is hard for a child to really grasp. Later they came in and told him that they had been misinformed and that he was in critical condition. WHAT? Why would you not check your facts before you tell a bunch of 2nd graders?? She is so confused. Now she is freaking out that maybe people we thought were dead aren't and we buried them alive! I talked to her and tried to explain things to her. I am not happy that she has been so confused. I wish they had sent home a letter saying what had happend and then let ME tell her if he died or if he didn't. We had a big discussion on death and what it means. Wyatt looked at her and said "Don't freak out! He GETS to live with Heavenly Father again!" I love these sweet spirits who teach me every day what it means to make a real difference.

Happiness

Happiness is a tricky little thing. Did you know that you can choose to be happy? I know it sounds simple but it is true! Who knew that I had so many choices to make. I am so happy to know that I have made the mistake of choosing to let other people affect my happiness. I am thankful for that period in my life though. It lets me know how great life really is. I am thankful for the chance to be a mom and a wife to an incredible man.

Why the change of heart? It is because I have faced my own mortality. I was driving on the freeway and had all four kids in the car. We had had a terrible day. All the kids had been fighting and I was frustrated to be by myself while Andrew was at work. An older lady was driving in front of us and slammed on her brakes! I looked over and she seriously had pulled out a map while going 70 mph on the freeway! I swerved out of the way and lucky for me I have three men that taught me all about what to do in that case. (They all were test drivers for GM) I felt the wheel slipping out of my control and I was able to set it right and get the Suburban under control. I was very blessed to not have any cars to my left where I swerved. I went over 3 lanes and the kids were so scared. Wyatt is the only one who got hurt. His head hit Chase's carseat and bruised his ear pretty bad.

I am thankful to be alive. I am thankful for second, and third and fourth chances. I am thankful that My Heavenly Father was looking out for me and my little family. All I could think was that Andrew was going to lose his entire family in an instant. It was so sad and scary. I am glad that I can learn from this experience how much I need to be here for my family and enjoy every second of it!

St. Patricks Day

We had a fabulous St. Patricks Day thanks to Grandma Porter. The kids were so excited to go have a "treasure hunt." Grandma made a scavenger hunt where the kids found clues and at the end was a pot of "gold" My niece Ivy wouldn't let go of her "loot" she was afraid that someone would take it :) Chase just ran around and loved all the kids around him. He truly loves to be outside and free! Grandma had a feast perfect for kids. We had hot dogs with relish, cuz they had to be green of course. We also had green jello salad, chips in a green bowl, green soda in green cups, green olives (not a huge success). We also had them decorate their own cookie with a clover in green gel and they had green popsicles. They loved every single minute of it. I had some seriously hyper kids on the way home but when the sugar wore off they crashed! I am so thankful for a mom that can be so creative and does these things for my kids to look back on and remember so fondly.

Resolve

I have decided to have a March resolution :) I am going to start small cuz lets face it, it will be hard. I am from today for the rest of the month only write positive things. I will not feel sorry for myself. I will not look back and be depressed. I will live life moving forward, enjoy my kids, and make every moment count! I hope that by the end of the month I will want to be happy all of the time. I remember when I used to be... Ah the good old days :) I am not this sad sack person that I have become. I won't let a few mistakes take it out of me!

SO, today I am so grateful for some amazing kids! Cole got up this morning and changed Chase's diaper (who knew he even knew how), then he gave Wyatt and Chase both cereal and they all had breakfast together. I LOVE having a big kid that wants to and ENJOYS helping. What a special boy he is to me. I am grateful for Kiley who is always wanting to hold my hand. She wants to be right by me whatever I am doing. She tells me she is trying to learn how to "handle her future". What a silly girl. Gotta love her! I love watching Wyatt try to entertain Chase. They are so much fun together. We will miss Wyatt next year when he is at school. I am also so grateful for my special blessing Chase. He is so HAPPY! I mean always. The kid makes the funniest grumpy faces that you can trick him out of. I just love it!

So, I am off to a good start. I love my life. I love my family. Who needs anything more??

KiDs ThEsE dAyS

Yesterday was our neice's baptism and Andrew had to work. I took all four kids, all by myself, to the baptism. We had promises of reverence... I should have known. During the talks Kiley and Cole were fighting over who was going to "help" me with Chase. He was doing great on my lap btw. I was so annoyed. I didn't get mad until Cole reached over and pinched Kiley and then she hit him back. Really? Have we ever been to church? They know how to act. They knew when I looked at them that they were busted. I packed up all my stuff and took them to the foyer. Kiley was sassy so I sent her outside. Alone. How in the world does it happen that the two best behaved kids were the little ones?

Wyatt showed me though. During the confirmation I was chasing Chase who had discovered that the stand had a microphone, and Wyatt and Kiley were fighting over Wyatts train. During the prayer Wyatt yells "she took my train!!!" I was beyond mad at this point. I grabbed all four kids and shoved them in the Suburban. We were supposed to go to Andrew's sisters house for a luncheon after. I was NOT going to do that alone too so I took them home. They were crying and suprised that I would "ruin" their day. WHAT?

When we got home they became my slaves. They swept and mopped and cleaned the kitchen. Now this was not part of my punishment. They did this to themselves. I didn't ask them to do it. My punishment was simply missing the party. When I went to bed last night I found a note on my pillow and some silk flowers taped to the back of it. It said "Sorry 4 our bad behavyour Love, Cole, Kiley and Wyatt" How cute is that? I can't stay mad when they tried so hard to make up for it. It is incredible what a little effort to show you are really sorry will do. I am proud of my little cutie pies. They make me smile and want to scream and want to sit and snuggle. I am lucky to be their mom and watch them become incredible little people.

Friends???

How do you know if a friend is a good friend? You have to hit a rough patch. If they stay, are still kind, and don't judge you then you have a keeper! I have always had a difficult time deciphering which is which. I have not always been a good friend. In fact, I mess it up almost always. I guess you could say I am an expert. I just wish, oh how I wish, that I could find one of those truly rare people that will just be my friend. Through thick and thin. Actually, I do have a few. You know who you are. You also know if you are not. I just think we should all stop and think about the kind of person we are. I have been judgemental, and blind all at once. I can tell you this though...I will not Not NOT make the same mistakes again!

You Have GOT to be kidding me!

Chase is all done done teething and is his fantastic, cute, happy self... Now we are teething again! Chase? No... KILEY! She knocked out her front three teeth 5 years ago! Now they are coming in and she has a fever. LAME! It is pretty hilarious though. Teething at 7 1/2. She's a trooper though. This all started on my birthday. Yea for me! LOL she was so sad because she thought she ruined it. Nope. She is a sweety and I can't wait to see her with a full set of teeth!

Poor Kid

Last week I was convinced that Chase was deathly ill. My mom and I took him to the Doctor (I have no insurance) so it cost me $90 for them to tell me he was teething and had giant sores on both sides of his mouth from biting them. REALLY? So, I took him home and started the whole motrin, tylenol game. He has been COMPLETLY miserable. He didn't eat or sleep for days which means neither did I. He went 2 days with barely wet diapers and no bm's. I was so worried. However, he is a drooling fool but I think we have finally turned a corner. He is laughing again! Oh how I have missed that beautiful sound! He smiles at me again and he even cuddles with me ( a side effect from the mouth I'm sure) I just hope it will last. I love having him sit and snuggle with me. Two weeks of torture and 4 molars later I think we are on the road to recovery.