Cole and Kiley thought it looked like fun too so they tried it out as well. Silly kids!
This morning I was trying to figure out what would be fun to do with the kids. I considered a movie but Chase is TERRIBLE at the movies. Then I saw that Karen was home and going swimming so we invited ourselves to go with her. I was considering going alone but with her there is another adult and that is always more fun for me. How LUCKY I was (or Truly Blessed) when I was swimming and suddenly felt a seizure coming on. Usually I get a twenty minute warning before they actually hit. This one was 5 tops! I never would have been able to get all the kids out of the pool in time. I sat on one of the lounge chairs and fell asleep after it was over. I was totally out! I am fried but I am so happy that she was there and kept my kids safe. I learned that I should NEVER take the kids swimming alone in case this ever happens again.
I clearly have been struggling the last few months but last night I realized something. I don't know who I am anymore. I used to be outgoing energetic and fun! Now I am more introverted and nervous to be around people. I need to find a happy medium and stick to it. I have never experienced that feeling of Who am I? And do I belong here? (At the party, not here on earth ;) I am confused but at least now I know what the problem is. Now to fix it!
Yep you read that right. I have created behavior charts. They have only been in effect for 6 hours but let me tell you they work like a charm so far! Cole has always been prone to throw fits. He has a sensory issue and when overstimulated he acts like a 2 year old. Yesterday I had had it! So I made each child their very own chart. Here is how it works:
Every time I "catch" them doing something good, something I didn't ask them to do. Going the extra mile some might say, they get a sticker on their chart. When they get twenty stickers on their chart they will get to go to the dollar store and pick something out.
Every time I "catch" them doing something naughty like throw a fit, fight, or not do what they are asked I put a check mark on the chart. To make up for the check mark they must do two good deeds of MY choosing. Then I will put a little sticker over the big check mark. I want them to still be able to see that the check mark was there.
I think that by making this visual they will be able to see how much extra work it is to "repent" then we can have a teaching opportunity that if we just do what is right in the first place, then we don't have to do the extra "work" to make things right. Time will tell....
Sundays in my house are chaotic. I try to enjoy them and I just can't seem to. Here is what happened yesterday. I got up in time got showered and ready, got Kiley's hair done and got her dressed up for church. Andrew helped the boys put on their church clothes and got them some breakfast. Me and the kids were ready at 8:45 so we went without Andrew who had yet to get out of his pajamas. Surely he would be right behind us. We sat down and I had snacks and notebooks to write on. We were all set. Five minutes into Sacrament Meeting Chase starts yelling "A bite!" So I grab the goldfish and start feeding him. Then Cole asks to go to the bathroom. On his way out Wyatt runs to catch up with him. Then Chase decides that his snacks aren't good enough so he starts stealing all the kids snacks around us. SUPER! Then Kiley asks to go to the bathroom. Chase starts yelling and Wyatt is mad that Chase stole his seat. It was ONLY 9:25 and Andrew still wasn't there! I grabbed all our stuff and took the kids out. I was DONE with church! As we walked out the kids were crying because they wanted to stay and Andrew couldn't figure out what whas wrong. We took a drive around the neighborhood so that I could calm down. When we went back I put Chase in nursery and he was fine alone for like 15 minutes and then freaked out. SO....I got to spend the rest of the time in nursery. That being said Sunday is NOT my favorite day of the week...
Today was a bad day. I had a few hours of good though. It is always fun to swim with friends. I have a little gray rain cloud looming overhead. I am overwhelmed. I am frustrated. I am alone. I miss Andrew. He is working like crazy trying to get our little family out of the mess we have. I wish we had a better job. I wish I could help more. I wish my kids would freeze in time. I wish a lot of things. Reality is that they are growing like weeds and keeping them clothed and with shoes is overwhelming itself. I love them. They are at such fun ages. I don't want them to grow up and not need me anymore. I love having a baby and he isn't such a baby anymore. I wish a lot of things but reality always wins in the end. Boo!
I know I have said before that I am tired but I am seriously more than tired. I am EXHAUSTED! Always. No matter what. I wake up ready for a nap. I don't know what else to say. I know it sounds whiny but I am whiny, its part of my charm. :) It is hard too because Andrew is working all day and all night now so I am taking care of all four kids all by myself. Luckily I have Cole who is so wonderful. He is so helpful and sweet to me. He makes sure that Chase is taken care of and he tries to help me make all the meals. He told me he is going to be a Chef when he grows up because he wants to "feed the world." Gotta love kids... Night nig...zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Today I am thankful for knowledgable doctors who do their best to figure out what is wrong with me. I went to the Hematologist yesterday and she asked how I was feeling. My iron levels are better than ever and yet I am more tired than ever. She is checking my thyroid, my Vitamin D, Vitamin B12 and gave me a shot for that. The other thing she is checking to see is if I have Valley Fever. I really just would like to know so that I know what to fix. I am just glad that my Doctor is making sure I get better.
