Love Is In the Air

13 years ago, today, I married my best friend. I have put our story on here many years in a row so I am not going to do that today. I am going to say that I think the past few years have been our very best ever. It is amazing how going through tough times can make or break you. We have been strengthened. We are a stronger couple than we have ever been. We have learned to communicate in ways that most people can't we are TRULY happy. We are in love more today than when we were married. I always thought that was impossible. I heard people say it but turns out it is really true! I am thankful for the hard times. They turned us into what we are now. I am thankful for the good times, they made the hard times bearable. I am so incredibly thankful for an amazing husband who puts our family and the gospel above all other things. I am so blessed and thankful that I can appreciate this about him.

This past weekend we got to take a weekend away, alone. No kids. It was so so so much fun! We haven't done that in so long. It was so nice to be able to remember what it is like just to be us. We were able to focus on each other and being like kids in the snow again. I am thankful for the time we had to relax and be together. No stressing about work or kids or schedules. I am so relaxed and ready for what comes next! 

Happy Anniversary Andrew!

Pressure

I went to the Hematologist and we talked a lot about pressure. The past couple of years I have had what I thought to be seizures. It turns out they might actually be TIA's or mini strokes. YIKES! She grilled me on all of the things that I do during a week and we decided I like to pack in the pressure. Some is self inflicted and some can't be helped. I just really wish I knew where our lives are headed. We are going to lose our house. We have no idea where we will go. We are trying to be ok with it. We love it here. We LOVE our ward and we love our neighbors. We know that wherever we end up we will be just fine. It just is sad. After all that our little family has been through lately I am just truly grateful we have each other. A house is just a thing. Our family is everything. I am thankful that wherever we will be, we will be there together. I just pray we can make the best of it!

Back in Business

Many years ago my dad sold his office complex and retired. This past week dad went back to work and is back at the office after getting it back. I must say it is so much fun to see Chase running around down there and having Cole flashbacks. When Cole was born 11 years ago I took him to work with me every day. He was raised in the office. Brides would come and go and sometimes never even know he was there. He was so content to sit in his playpen and play with toys. I love seeing Chase love the same things as his oldest brother. It is quite the feeling of deja vu.

She Did It!

Kiley ran for School Historian. Not because she wanted to win but because she wanted to be Class Representative and you are eligible if you run for student council. She is SOOOOO excited. She walked into her classroom and there was the coveted purple paper on her desk to let her know she was chosen! She could not be more excited! I am proud of her. She had to give a speech in front of the whole school and she did a fabulous job. I am so amazed at her confidence and spunk! She is definitely a handful but I wouldn't want it any other way. Congratulations Squeaks Marie!

Make a choice!

"What we do with what happens to us is more important than what happens to us. The direction in which we are moving is more important than place or situation. We may have stumbled or been grievously hurt, but we have not fallen if we are willing to get back up." --Elder Marvin J. Ashton 1975

I love this quote! In my life there has been some struggle. I have had to make really really hard choices. Every single day we make choices that affect our entire beings. In these times to we choose to take critisizm and move forward improving ourselves? Or are we offended and go the opposite direction doing just as we were doing?  It can be hard to find out that we aren't perfect and that we need the blessing of the Atonement in our lives. But I can testify with a sincere heart that it is worth it! It is HARD! But so worth it. I am thankful for the teachings I have had in my life that make those little choices easy to make every day. I am thankful for a wonderful family and a great support system of friends and ward members. I am very blessed and I am thankful. More thankful than words can ever express.

Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam!

Chase has to be the smallest Sunbeam I have ever seen! He turned 3 two weeks before the end of the year. All of the other kids are bigger and taller which makes him seem so small! It may be because he is my baby. My last one. But I have to say he is pretty adorable walking into the primary room all ready to go. We have a deal. I stand at the back of the room for the first song and then I leave. If he is good during primary then when we get home he can have a little chocolate milk or a little hot chocolate. He loves this! He comes out so proud and ready for his drink. I am a little sad that he is my last baby. I love babies. I also know that it is time to be done having them but I still miss the infant phase when they just love you. Selfish, I know but I miss it. Lucky for me he is pretty loving and loves to give hugs and kisses and sit on my lap even if it is only for half a second. I'll take what I can get! So, when the primary program comes around this year our little Chasers will be up there singing with his whole heart!

Uncertainty

What do you do when everything you know is up in the air? There are a few things that are true and solid that I never question. First, I know my Savior loves me and my family. HE is aware of my family and our struggles and our triumphs. Second, Andrew and I have built a family of trust and love. Our little family is what we have. It is amazing to have that love of family. But, that being said, I struggle. I struggle knowing where our family needs to be. We are in limbo and I feel like everything is crashing down on me. I know that it will work out and that it will be fine. Somehow. I am just a human though and I feel unsettled. I never get to see Andrew. He is only home on Saturdays and Sundays that are filled with planning and Church. I am trying not to be a whiny baby but I just want to feel like I am where I am supposed to be. I want to be a better mom. I want to play and be carefree. But, I am doing my best. And for now that has to be enough.