Music

I forget how music speaks to me. I was lucky enough to have gone to a little casual performance that my friend Jenny McKinney put on last night. Her music is clearly inspired and you couldn't help but feel the spirit in the room as she shared the stories behind each one. She truly has a gift. I loved all of her songs but there were a few that really spoke to my heart. I want to learn her music. I loved hearing them but I think being able to sing them would really be awesome. What a special gift to be able to put your feelings into music and heal in that capacity. I am in awe of her and feel blessed to have been there and to know her :) I was also amazed at her ability to speak to my Kiley. She has had a really hard time with the death of her friend and one of the songs Jenny sang last night was for her friend that she lost many years ago. Kiley just soaked it all in. After the concert was over she asked if she could go talk to Jenny about Ethan. When we got home she hugged me and told me that her heart felt peace finally. Thank you Jenny for helping my little family without even knowing it!

Strength

I have always considered myself a strong person. I felt invincible like I was out to help the world. Last night I had an epiphany. Just because I FEEL strong doesn't mean I should put myself in the position to test it. Half of one's strength comes from knowing to stay away from things that are wrong. It doesn't mean we can't build one another up and try to be good examples. Sometimes though the example needs to be that we don't even entertain the idea. There is right and there is wrong. It sounds so simple. Why is it so hard? I love this new found rejuvination. I AM strong. I no longer need to prove it :) I will be the person I know I have always been. I only need to fit in with The Savior. Not the world. I am so blessed to have this KNOWLEDGE for myself. I am thankful for challenges and hope to never need them again!

Bunco Buddies

Bunco was so much fun last night. Our friend Lani didn't show up. We decided she needed a little pick me up so we tp'd her house. Her husband came out and caught us. Of course he did it was 9:30 at night and all the doors and windows were open. He came to take out the trash. He laughed and said "I'm not cleaning this up!" What a good sport ;) We had so much fun laughing and being obnoxiously loud and crazy. I am so glad that Tera made sure I went. It was too fun!

Lessons RE Learned

For those who know me, you know I love to be on the go. I don't usually like to be just home and not doing anything. I like to be with people. Talking to people. I have spent so much time away from my home that it has been neglected. Not anymore! I have re learned an important lesson. It is funny how priorities change. Sometimes for bad but sometimes for good. I have been going through a change in life. I have re evaluated my priorities and guess what? I LOVE being in my home! I love cleaning my house and making it nice and orderly. I love to read past Ensign's and re learn the messages that I have forgotten. I haven't had the Ensign in my home because I forget to reorder and when I remember I don't have the money. My mom bought me a few past issues and I sat down with the November 2010 issue with the conference talks. I don't know where I was when I heard these talks but now I can't put it down. I love reading it. Marking it. Trying to apply each talk to me! What a fantastic blessing in my life. I am so thankful for these simple teachings that can help me Re Evaluate my life!!

Tenderness

My sweet little Kiley is tender in her heart. The new kid in her class was insensitive and said that he was lucky a kid died so he could get his spot in school. Kiley came home in tears. She was so upset by this. She couldn't get to sleep. Her teacher gave them all a postcard with several pictures of Ethan on it. I let her take it to her bedroom thinking she would put it next to her bed but no, she slept clutching onto it. I feel so bad for her. We have spent hours and hours talking about the fact that Ethan is in Heaven With Our Father In Heaven. He is happy and he feels no more pain. I try to get her to remember him happy and silly but she has such a hard time. Any suggestions???

This special little boy inspires me. He makes me NEED to be a better person. He needs me to be his mom and to teach him the correct way to be a man. I love him and I LOVE Love love that he prays with me and the kids. I am one lucky mama ;)

Lessons

I loved listening to Conference this weekend. It was as if the leaders of The Church were speaking to me. I felt such an amazing spirit in our home. It was the first time that our kids actually sat still and listened. I will admit Chase was in bed but all of the others were awake, in the room, and quiet. HOW did it happen? I have no idea. They were impressed by it too. Kiley was in awe as the Prophet got up to speak. I was inspired to be a better person. I loved the talk about what we do isn't necessarily who we are. It doesn't define us. I am a Daughter of God. He loves me. He knows me. He guides me and through Him I can handle lifes challenges. What a great reminder! I have been struggling with forgiveness. That was another talk that I felt was really directed at me. Forgive others, forgive yourself. I am working on it. I really am. I am just glad to know that I am on the right path. I am doing all that I can do and it will make me so much stronger. I am so happy to have my family that love and support me through anything. They are truly wonderful and I am blessed to have these people in my life!