I have been thinking a lot about friendship lately. I am thankful for true friends. I am suddenly aware of how rare they really are. I try my very best to be a true and loyal friend. I am pretty easy going and love to just go with the flow. Sometimes this can get me into trouble. LOL But I am thankful for the friends that support me no matter what is going on. You know who you are ;) Thank you! You are truly important in my life.
I love learning things. I love that just when you think you know what you know, you learn something new. I know this probably doesn't make sense but it does to me :) I was sitting in Bishop Cluffs Sunday School lesson on Sunday. He seemed to be speaking directly to me and he didn't even know it. He said things that I NEEDED to hear. Things I thought I knew but this time they touched my heart. I have clearly been going through a rough time. I have had a tough time forgiving and moving on. But when Bishop Cluff said "have you ever been betrayed by someone you trusted? Hurt by someone you loved?" I thought yeah I have! I have had friends that turned out not to be real friends. People who have cut me to the core. I trust too willingly. I am a sucker. Then Bishop Cluff spoke of Peter who betrayed Christ. Christ willingly forgave him and loved him. WOW. I had not thought of it that way. I am thankful for this new insight.
Also, Bishop Cluff asked "have you ever felt truly alone?" Again I thought Yeah I have! Then he reminded me of Christ at the Garden of Gethsemane. HE was truly alone! Not only does Christ understand how I feel, He KNOWS how I feel. I am so glad that I was in this class. I have heard these things before but this time I FELT it! I am so thankful for this experience. I am thankful for the opportunity I have to go to Sunday School and learn these important principles.
Kiley got baptized this last weekend and it was such a sweet experience for our family. We had family come from out of town and all the family in town came. It was such a special treat to have my brother Dave and his family here from Texas! We rarely get to see them so it was neat. My sister Julie came from Joseph City and brought four of her kids. We are so lucky to have such a supportive and loving family around us.
Kiley was absolutely beaming on Saturday. She loved having everyone there and she loved that she looked like a princess :) She seriously loves to be the center of attention. She asked if I could print out her picture so that we could all be "her biggest fans" and she could sign her autograph on them for us. Uh....NO. It was funny though. I love her spunky little spirit. She is so smart and she truly has an understanding of the gospel that you wouldn't expect of one so young. I love hearing her tell scripture stories and her "take" on what we are reading at any time. She inspires me. I am thankful to have this sweet girl in our family. She makes us all giggle and sometimes crazy. She has this infectious laugh that I love and I am lucky to be her mom.
After she went under the water she said thats it?! I laughed so hard. It is because Cole's baptism was so traumatic and it took forever. She was so ready for this step and got all the way under on her first try. She was so pleased with herself :) I love this kid! And I am so pleased with her decision to become a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
Cole and Kiley thought it looked like fun too so they tried it out as well. Silly kids!
This morning I was trying to figure out what would be fun to do with the kids. I considered a movie but Chase is TERRIBLE at the movies. Then I saw that Karen was home and going swimming so we invited ourselves to go with her. I was considering going alone but with her there is another adult and that is always more fun for me. How LUCKY I was (or Truly Blessed) when I was swimming and suddenly felt a seizure coming on. Usually I get a twenty minute warning before they actually hit. This one was 5 tops! I never would have been able to get all the kids out of the pool in time. I sat on one of the lounge chairs and fell asleep after it was over. I was totally out! I am fried but I am so happy that she was there and kept my kids safe. I learned that I should NEVER take the kids swimming alone in case this ever happens again.
I clearly have been struggling the last few months but last night I realized something. I don't know who I am anymore. I used to be outgoing energetic and fun! Now I am more introverted and nervous to be around people. I need to find a happy medium and stick to it. I have never experienced that feeling of Who am I? And do I belong here? (At the party, not here on earth ;) I am confused but at least now I know what the problem is. Now to fix it!
