Who?

I have been doing a lot of reflecting lately. I was thinking about who I was in high school. Who I was at Eastern Arizona College. Who I was at Chandler Gilber CC. Who I am now. The thing I figured out is I have no idea who to be. I used to think that I was funny and loud and had lots of friends. But, did I?? Were they laughing WITH me or AT me? I don't know. I am not the loud crazy girl anymore. I am so much more reserved and calm. I have changed. But I have lost myself. I am embarassed of how silly I once was but I am embarassed of being afraid to branch out and do things. I have gone through the hardest year or so of my life. I am stronger Spiritually and renewed but I am afraid to trust people. I am afraid to get close to people. They have the ability to hurt me. Why can't I just figure me out? The one thing I know for SURE is that I am a daughter of God and he is aware of me and my struggles. He is CONSTANTLY with me and I feel his love daily. But the 5 year old inside me just wants to be liked. I am rambling and probably don't make sense. Oh well.